Idiot-proofing our city

Today, I thought I need to do something more than telling myself to calm down and count till ten just so that I don’t lose my cool in the city of dreams. I decided to come with terms with the fact that our city is full of idiots and it is time we take giant leaps of faith to make our city idiot-proof.

There are a variety of them and we shall see some examples here. If you find yourself in one of these categories, it is time you took a hard look at yourself!

1. Stopping your car at a turn to take a phone call or to drop someone off. (May be that makes you feel like a super hero, but you are only being a prick)

      

      
      2. Walking on the crowded city street while incessantly typing on your phone. (Yes, there is a real world outside which has no time or patience for your histrionics. Pay attention!)

   

      3. Eating that bag of chips and unceremoniously throwing the plastic waste on the road. (You are turning your city into a garbage hole! These are the same people who will later complain about how dirty our country is. You define a whole new level of dumb!)

    

      4. Pushing and pulling other people’s hair while getting on that local. Also, sometimes kicking people just to vent your anger. (No, this isn’t your Karate class. Have some decorum! Everyone present there wants to either get in or get out and this can be achieved in a systematic manner.)

   
    

      5.  Hurting that local dog, pulling his tail. Kicking him for the heck of it. Driving over him to show you are the macho man of the neighborhood. (You are nothing but an asshole. And I hope to God, people like you burn in hell. Literally. This planet is not yours alone, learn to respect other living beings.)

      

      6. Talking loudly on your phone in the movie theatres or random cat calling while the movie is on. (This isn’t your living room. There are other people who have paid to watch the movie in peace.)

   

      7. That guy who honks till everyone’s ear drums are bursting. (Dude, are you blind? There are cars in front of me. I don’t have the Weasley’s flying car to fly over all the other vehicles. And if I am just randomly in the middle of the road, then I am an asshole anyway, what makes you think your honking is going to change that?)

    

      8. The ‘Bharat ka Culture Bachao’ brigade who have an opinion on anything and everything that moves. (No, we don’t care. And yes, I am wearing a bra and sometimes the straps show. So what’s your problem?)

   

      9. Those guys who spread communal hatred and then kneel in front of God praying for wellbeing. ( You are a hypocrite and God knows that more than anyone else. You can’t really expect to live a happy life while you are screwing other people’s happiness. Karma is a bitch, baby!)

   

      10. The drunken dudes who think they can play Roadrash on the road and get away with it. (Hey you King of Drunken Wonderness, we will find you and kick your ass. You think it is completely all right to risk lives just so that you can party and drive like a maniac on the road! You belong to the same hell as the person in Number 5. Bye bye.)

    

I got 10 for you right now, in the process of identifying more. Because, you gotta catch ‘em all!

P.S. – If you come across more varieties, do share them here!