Sleepless during Corona
It was past midnight and my phone beeped for the thousandth time that night. I picked it up and with groggy eyes tried to read the message on my screen.
An Indian scientist, who has worked in Singapore, Japan, Iran and finally in Wuhan, China has shared the secret of the deadly Corona Virus. And he says that Corona virus is lethal only if you come in contact with pigeon poop after contracting the disease. Stay away from pigeons!
Well, that clearly meant that Mumbai was a goner. Mumbaikars live in the pigeon kingdom. There was no escape for any of us. The pigeons were sure to take advantage of the situation and try to get revenge for the decades of harassment we have put them through. I am sure they will hunt and find Corona patients and poop on their faces and once they are dying, they will do the guturgu dance and probably make out.
No, I am not writing to tell you about the secret behind surviving this pandemic (because you can't, you are probably going to get that virus anyway). This is just a rant which might help you feel like 'Aah, yes. Exactly.'
After reading the pigeon poop theory, I finally decided to get some sleep. But the night was long and full of terrors. I got up at 2 AM screaming, telling no one in particular that I was feeling breathless. I was sure I had the Corona. I was sharply shaken awake and asked to climb down and then up seven floors to make sure that I was really breathless. That definitely did it for me, I promptly went back to bed and shut my eyes.
Each person has a different way to tackle this panic. Some have got it easy while some, I really don't think so. I have a bunch of die hard saffron friends who have already started buying cows. They are absolutely convinced that only cow dung can save them. Some ladies in that group have even started making cow dung masks. Apparently, as soon as the virus touches the dung, BOOM! It just evaporates and dies.
And I definitely can't forget about my leftist friends, they are just miserable hearing all the bad news about Italy. Anyway, I am not going to get political about it. I don't want to be banned by blogging sites or worse still by the internet.
I don't think I have ever read more intriguing and confusingly delightful conspiracy theories. I think the worst one that I read was that the virus, a creation of Mother Earth, has come to kill the previous generations who did nothing about climate change. Well, that's just really mean. I am surprised how people haven't blamed aliens yet or in India, Nehru. (Just slightly political).
The best thing that I read a couple of days back was that heat will kill the virus so there is not much chance of it surviving in India in summer. I really don't know if to believe it or not but I am definitely going to Goa for sun bathing. I might get skin cancer lying on the beach for hours, soaking up the sun but at least I will kill those Corona guys (if they are on me). And for all the folks who told me to not go out in the sun too much and not to get tanned, the joke's on you. See you in the sun!
There are also some of my friends who feel that we really must not joke about this pandemic. But to be honest, humor is the only thing keeping most of us sane in this time of insanity.
So let's make more memes and joke about it till these tough times are over.
I must go now, I have to eat two lemons today. The aunty in our colony told me that's the sure shot way to beat corona. Go Corona Go.
An Indian scientist, who has worked in Singapore, Japan, Iran and finally in Wuhan, China has shared the secret of the deadly Corona Virus. And he says that Corona virus is lethal only if you come in contact with pigeon poop after contracting the disease. Stay away from pigeons!
Well, that clearly meant that Mumbai was a goner. Mumbaikars live in the pigeon kingdom. There was no escape for any of us. The pigeons were sure to take advantage of the situation and try to get revenge for the decades of harassment we have put them through. I am sure they will hunt and find Corona patients and poop on their faces and once they are dying, they will do the guturgu dance and probably make out.
No, I am not writing to tell you about the secret behind surviving this pandemic (because you can't, you are probably going to get that virus anyway). This is just a rant which might help you feel like 'Aah, yes. Exactly.'
After reading the pigeon poop theory, I finally decided to get some sleep. But the night was long and full of terrors. I got up at 2 AM screaming, telling no one in particular that I was feeling breathless. I was sure I had the Corona. I was sharply shaken awake and asked to climb down and then up seven floors to make sure that I was really breathless. That definitely did it for me, I promptly went back to bed and shut my eyes.
Each person has a different way to tackle this panic. Some have got it easy while some, I really don't think so. I have a bunch of die hard saffron friends who have already started buying cows. They are absolutely convinced that only cow dung can save them. Some ladies in that group have even started making cow dung masks. Apparently, as soon as the virus touches the dung, BOOM! It just evaporates and dies.
And I definitely can't forget about my leftist friends, they are just miserable hearing all the bad news about Italy. Anyway, I am not going to get political about it. I don't want to be banned by blogging sites or worse still by the internet.
I don't think I have ever read more intriguing and confusingly delightful conspiracy theories. I think the worst one that I read was that the virus, a creation of Mother Earth, has come to kill the previous generations who did nothing about climate change. Well, that's just really mean. I am surprised how people haven't blamed aliens yet or in India, Nehru. (Just slightly political).
The best thing that I read a couple of days back was that heat will kill the virus so there is not much chance of it surviving in India in summer. I really don't know if to believe it or not but I am definitely going to Goa for sun bathing. I might get skin cancer lying on the beach for hours, soaking up the sun but at least I will kill those Corona guys (if they are on me). And for all the folks who told me to not go out in the sun too much and not to get tanned, the joke's on you. See you in the sun!
There are also some of my friends who feel that we really must not joke about this pandemic. But to be honest, humor is the only thing keeping most of us sane in this time of insanity.
So let's make more memes and joke about it till these tough times are over.
I must go now, I have to eat two lemons today. The aunty in our colony told me that's the sure shot way to beat corona. Go Corona Go.
Nice, very witty and sharply sarcastic ! 😊
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